"How and when do we tell our children that well be moving, and is there anything that we can do to make the move easier for them?"

Needless to say, these questions are not new to parents faced with the prospect of a move, but you can take comfort in knowing that there are a number of things that you can do to make your relocation an exciting and rewarding experience for your children. The key lies in being sensitive to their feelings and concerns and in making them feel a part of the process.

"Children of different ages will have different reactions to a move," says Dr. Joseph B. Keegan, a certified clinical psychologist. "What is important to understand is that different age groups tend to miss different things. Younger children tend to miss familiar people a favorite teacher, for example and safe and secure environments such as church, school, even their bedrooms. Older children especially teenagers tend to miss their friends and others in the community with whom theyve developed relationships."

First and foremost, you should tell your children about the move as soon as possible. A child shouldnt overhear the news by accident.

"For a child," notes Dr. Keegan, "much of the stress associated with moving relates to dealing with the unknown. Given this, its important for you to talk to your children about the move. Share the details that you think they can understand, encourage their questions, and listen to what they have to say."

Also, involve your children in all aspects of your relocation. If possible, bring them with you on house-hunting trips; if not, photograph or videotape the house that you select, as well as the neighborhood and new school.

Allow your children to participate in planning the move. "When possible," suggests Dr. Keegan, "ask your children to perform small jobs that are age-appropriate and that can often be made enjoyable."

For example, you might consider asking your children for their input regarding the decor and layout of their new rooms. And let them pack a box or two of their toys, games and other personal belongings.

Dr. Keegan also advises that you encourage your children to take the time to say good-bye to their friends and maintain ties by having them exchange addresses and telephone numbers. A letter or phone call to or from an old friend can go a long way toward boosting the spirits of anyone especially a child in a strange, new community.

Provide your children with a sense of continuity. If theyre in the scouts, little league, or a school band or choir, for example, enroll them in the same or similar activities in the new community as soon as possible.

With respect to the quality of your childrens education in the new community, dont be afraid to contact teachers and principals at prospective schools. You have every right to inquire about average test scores, attendance rates, special programs, teacher/student ratio, extracurricular actives, etc. For high schools, ask about accreditation and the percentage of students continuing on to college.